Da Fight Edit


The sound of the turret Red Ded was firing was the only thing that could be heard over the blaring wail of the ship's sirens.

Red Ded is a little short for an orc. Not nearly short for it to be a problem to him. The Sclera of his eyes are pitch-black and his Irises are a dark cloudy yellow.

He has accumulated a number of scars over his life, but three stand out. His left tusk is snapped, and he bears a mid-sized scar that crosses over his left eye. A large section of his face starting from the mid-dome, and ending at his left cheekbone is scorched. All of these injuries were obtained in the same incident involving a rabid monster dog, and an exploding tea kettle. One of his more favorite stories to tell.

He grunts in frustration as he turns the wheel to aim at an incoming fighter jet. "Pesky little flies... WHY DON'T YA JUST BLOW UP ALREADY!!?" He presses the trigger buttons, firing another salvo of bullets and missiles.

The jet disappears in a burst of fire, simply vanishing from space. The sight fills Red Ded with less satisfaction than he desires. It just isn't the same if you can't hear the explosion.

At the moment Red Ded is fighting off a horde of orc pirates on a human pirate vessel called the 'Alternative Solution', and as far as he could tell, he is losing. The crew was on their way to an intergalactic space station to cash in on their loot when they were ambushed by the Orc pirates of the 'Vindictive Undertaker'.

Red Ded hadn't completely learned how to fly a human ship yet, so the only thing he can do is sit in the stupid chair for the slow turret, that fires the weak bullets against superior orc fighters. It is an infuriating experience.

A drawn out, wrenching, screeching sound reverberates throughout the ship, causing Red Ded to jolt up in his seat.

Judging from the sound, it is completely possible that there is now a tear in the 'Solution's' hull. If that is the case, Red Ded may have to put on his suit's helmet to prevent suffocating to death.

Of course, if that really is the case, oxygen would be the least of Red Ded's problem. So he just shrugs and gets back to firing his gun. Why think of what may be and what may come, when your enemy is right in front of you?

Not even a minute passes when Red Ded's earpiece turns on. "HEY ORC, DO YOU HEAR ME YOU GREEN BASTARD?"

Red Ded stops firing. "Dat's rude, I know my father. What do ya want Captain?"


Red Ded smiles. "Can do Captain. Can do." With that, he leaps out of his chair and takes out his butchering knives. Because if there is one thing he can do well, it's kill.

He runs down the hall, boots clanging on the steel floor. After making a right turn, he gets into an elevator and presses the button to go down.

With the elevator music playing, he now he has time to think. (Funny how the music still works even when a battle is going on.)

If orcs are now raiding the ship, it could mean that they had some form of transport ship cut a hole into his ship. It is a strategy that his kind are known to employ, and in most cases, it's highly effective. Now that the enemy orcs are on the ship, they will likely hone in on a strategic point on the 'Alternative Solution' if they are smart: or they will just run around on rampage if they are stupid. Either way, Red Ded knows he's gonna have some fun.

The doors open to show a pair of human pirates running towards the door, the one lagging behind is bleeding from his right shoulder. As they see Red Ded they scream in horror. The first pirate stops immediately, but the one behind him crashes into him, causing them both to tumble over. With them out of the way, Red Ded can see a big orc charging down the hall.

Red Ded yells, passing by the humans, which he often refers to as pinkies, and charges at the oncoming orc. The enemy orc swings wildly with his axe, but with his smaller and more agile frame, Red Ded easily parries the blow.

Red Ded thrusts his 'stabbing knife' deep into his opponent's suit and flesh. As the enemy orc roars in pain, Red Ded pulls the knife out and cleaves his 'chopping knife' into the orc's arm.

The beast bellows, and tackles Red Ded, causing him to lose his grip on his knife, and fall. The orc relentlessly strikes at Red Ded with his axe not giving him time to get up, but he isn't fast enough to hit Red Ded.

As Red Ded backs up, he gets closer to the human pirates, who haven't done anything but stare in terror at the fight. Red Ded notices them and sees an opportunity. He kicks the orc in the jaw, stunning him.

Red Ded gets up, and grabs the closer pinky's shotgun, tearing it off of the coward's back. He manages to turn just in time to fire a shot straight into the orc's shouting mouth. Ork blood sprays unto the walls, and the beast falls.

"*Huff*, *Huff*. WHOO! NOW DAT WAS FUN!" Red Ded exclaims. He turns the corpse over to collect his knife.

The pinkies gather their nerve, one of them sprints to the elevator, while the other takes two steps at Red Ded. "Ah, you're the 'Bloody Deed' that the captain hired awhile back. Thanks for the save."

Red Ded turns and blinks at the pinky. "Huh, oh yeah, you're welcome."

The pinky raises his hand with his palm facing up. "Now if you don't mind, I would like my shotgun back. I need it, after all."

Red Ded inspects the shotgun in his hand. It's a good shotgun, definitely too good for the pinky. He smiles and turns towards the pinky, standing at full height to overshadow him.

He then leans forward, and walks slowly, causing the pinky to awkwardly step back. "You know pinky if you needed dis shotgun so badly, why didn't you use it when you had the chance?" The pirate tries to talk, but his mouth fails him as he steps further and further back. "Tsk Tsk Tsk. Too bad pinky, I guess I have more need of this than you, seeing as how I'm using it. Goodbye!!"

With that, Red Ded shoves the pirate into the elevator. As the pirate collides and topples over the other pirate already in the elevator, Red Ded reaches in and pushes all the buttons, before turning away.

Da Brawl Edit

Red Ded is running down the hall, heading towards the mess hall. As he runs, several explosions can be heard echoing throughout the ship. It seems like that his side was taking more damage as the fight went on.

Red Ded isn't too surprised that his side was having difficulty, orcs are naturally better at piracy after all. However, because of his less than average stature, he is constantly underestimated by other orcs. It is for this reason that he has recently taken to working with humans, where he, and his accomplishments will stand out more.

During the time he has spent among them, he has come to appreciate some of their better qualities, and more often than not, enjoys raiding with the more 'orc-like' pinkies. None the less, he really can't stand the cowards like the two he passed by.

"They don't even belong in this profession" he mutters.


Red Ded stops after his foot hit something. Looking down, he spies a familiar object. "OH, my Burner! I was wondering where I left this!"

Red Ded's burner is a monstrosity of a flamethrower gun, made by the orc himself. The gun part of the burner is a foot long with a second handle mounted above the gun. The gun is connected to a large backpack that is filled with fuel. A Circular dial protrudes from the side, showing how full the backpack is. A fine piece of work fit for the orc that made it.

"Now I remember, I left this here while I was working on it because I had to run to the turret! How careless, and unlike me to leave it here". He puts the backpack on, placing the gun in a slot just fit for it. "Well, I can't use it right now with all the oxygen in da ship, but dat's no reason to leave it lying around. Dis is a pirate ship, after all, someone might be tempted to make off with it, and it would be a headache to find em."

With his prized gun on his back, Red Ded continues down the hall, running for a straight minute until he reaches a pair of broken down doors. Gunfire can be heard further within. Red Ded grips tightly on his knives as he sidles along the wall and peaks inside.

On the right side, human pirates are shooting frequently while behind the cover of some surprisingly durable tables. In the center, a small, but quite formidable force of orcs exchange their gunfire. They are using the tables as shields to move closer to the humans, some of them even brandishing melee weapons in preparation of a charge. To the left, is a large circular tube protruding from a wall, most likely where the invading orcs entered from.

Every second counted now, but Red Ded didn't want to be mistaken for an enemy orc in front of his comrades. He takes a moment to reach for his helmet hanging off the back of his suit, right above his backpack and puts it on. The suit is of human make and design, so at a passing glance, Red Ded can pass for a human.

When the oxygen fills the helmet, he sneaks over to the left, where no one is looking. He grins from ear to ear in anticipation of the brawl that he is about to start.

He is flanking the orcs now, who are too busy with the humans in front to notice him. He bends down and crouches forward slowly, with silent footsteps.

He is now three yards behind his target . . . Now two yards . . . Now one. Now for the best part.

With all of his vocal strength Red Ded Shouts, "SURPRISE"! He gives his first victim just enough time to turn around and see him before sticking his knife into his throat. He turns the orc around before pulling the blade out, causing the orc's blood to spray on the other orcs, causing them to flinch.

He wastes no time in his assault. Red Ded goes from one orc to another stabbing them. Some of the orcs stand at full height to attack Red Ded, making them easy targets for the human pirates to shoot.

As the orc pirates start to surround him, Red Ded takes a couple of steps back to prevent himself from being overwhelmed, but not enough to disengage. What kind of orc would he be if he retreated?

He parries and dodges blow after blow coming in from the left and the right while striking back against his attackers. Some of the braver, and better, human pirates are engaging the orc pirates with melee weapons. Red Ded laughs as he lunges at an orc armed with a chainsaw and shield.

From the middle of the group of orcs, a smaller orc roars as he shoots his rocket launcher at Red Ded. He only has a moment to duck before a circular rocket flies past him and goes into the tube protruding from the wall. He realizes that the tube much closer than expected, and wonders to himself how he ended up so close to the wall.

A concussive blast followed by fire escapes from the tube. A moment later, the wall collapses outward, and the air is flowing into the hole that leads out into space. Red Ded loses his footing and finds himself being jettisoned out into the void

Da Flight Edit

Red Ded shouts until he has to take a breath of air in. He takes in several short, quick, frantic breaths until he calms down.

As he floats in the void, he can't stop himself from spinning. There's nothing that he can grab to stop himself.

From what he can see of the 'Alternative Solution', it is dead. The jet thrusters are down, several holes fill the ship's hull, and very little gunfire is coming from the turrets. From this vantage point, Red Ded can clearly see that the fight has already been lost.

At this point, Red Ded must focus on his own survival if he wants to live for another raid.

He manages to catch a glimpse of the 'Vindictive Undertaker' which is getting bigger and bigger in his eyes. Red Ded realizes that he is drifting towards the enemy ship, fast, but if he didn't change his course by even a little bit, he'll end up passing right under it.

Thinking quick, he sheaths his knives and reaches for his burner gun. He adjusts the gun's nozzle to let off a focused stream of fire.

When he sees the 'Undertaker' he fires his weapon, slowing down his spinning. Red Ded keeps the ship in his sight at all times, making sure he can aim his gun in just the right direction to push him to the ship.

Is the push from the burner enough to make a difference? The Undertaker is getting closer, but Red Ded isn't close enough yet to even touch it when it will pass over him.

He sees a broken fighter jet crossing his path. Red Ded, aims for it and lands on it with his mag boots activated. He runs off unto the highest point of the jet and jumps, burner burning all the while.

The ship is about eight feet above him and he is starting to pass under it. He reaches with his left hand as he goes under it. He is getting closer to landing on it.

His hand brushes on the bottom, but he can't get a grip. Frustrated and desperate, he grabs his knife and stabs into the ship. He can hear his knife screeching on the hall as his body slowly gets closer to the ship.

Red Ded manages to lift his feet unto the 'Undertaker' and slide to a halt. He breathes heavily as he looks behind him. He had about a little less than half of the ship left to accomplish what he just did. Now that he is 'safe' he breathes a sigh of relief.

He cheers a little bit, shaking his burner above his head as he shouts for joy.

The moment passes, and now he needs to figure out what to do next. He checks the oxygen level of his suit, via a monitor on his arm. Only an hour's worth to work with, definitely not going to last long enough for wherever the orcs were going to go after they were done looting the ship... Heck, it probably wouldn't even last the time it would take them to loot the ship.

With no other alternative, Red Ded walks the length of the ship an in the effort to jog his mind for solutions. "Let's see, I could try to join da Undertaker crew . . . Nah dat won't work 'Undertaker' pirates have a reputation to shoot first, and shoot second, and shoot just a third time to be certain when meeting other pirates. Makes dem dangerous to approach, and one of the main reasons why barely anyone works with them."

"I could easily sneak into the ship and hide until they reach their destination and sneak away, but where da heck do I find the door to get inside? Hmmm . . . Well, I guess I should go find it."

As Red Ded scours the ship for any sign of a door, he wanders towards the starboard side of the Undertaker. When he reaches the bend, he notices a large new scratch on the ship's side. Curious, he follows it.

He turns a corner where the ship hall dips in and sees a fighter jet that is wedged into a nook in the Undertaker's hull. He decides to inspect it.

By design, it seems to be an orc 'Goblin Mark 6', model. A jet that is known for its versatility and speed, along with just enough toughness to meet the requirements for an orc jet.

Red Ded notices that the cockpit is still intact, even though there were some cracks on the windshield's front. The pilot of the Goblin is dead from what appears to be the result of crashing into the jet's windshield when the seat's faulty belt snapped.

Red Ded thinks for a moment. "Dis model was made to have oxygen inside the cockpit in case something happened to da pilot's helmet. If da cockpit is intact, dere may be a chance dat there is still oxygen inside of it. And if dere is oxygen inside of it, dis jet would have one of them fancy carbon transfigure thingies dat would turn any carbon dioxide, or was it monoxide, dat orcs breath back into oxygen. Meaning if I can get dat to work, I won't have to worry about breathing. Heck, I could just sit in dis thing without anyone being da wiser and escape at the best opportunity! Hmmm. I should get it open somehow without losing da oxygen."

Red Ded goes further down the jet. and uses his flamethrower to open up a panel right behind the cockpit on the ship's side. "Let's see, I believe dat they had something installed on these jets for just this situation . . . Ah, here it is!"

The jet hums to life, and a hissing sound emanates from the cockpit as the oxygen gets sucked into an airtight compartment.

As the jet sucks in the air in the cockpit, it starts to shake a little. Red Ded stops and looks around. The Goblin wasn't entirely wedged into the Undertaker. A little shove in the right direction would unhook the jet off of the Undertaker. Red Ded decides to take care of this first.

He sets up his burner into welding mode and begins the slow process to weld the fighter into the Undertaker. He takes apart other pieces of the fighter jet to strengthen the bond, fuzing the jet into the nook. This process takes several minutes.

Once he is satisfied with his work, he looks back at the Goblin. Its cockpit has opened by now, and the dead pilot is drifting off into space. Red Ded climbs into the jet and closes the hatch.

As Red Ded sits down, he turns the oxygen back on for the cockpit. Air flows through vents in front of him, and a panel lights up warning of low oxygen.

Red Ded finds a compartment in the chair filled with a case of bubble tape, a type of invention to detect air leaks in the ship. He releases some bubbles, and they fly towards the cracks on the windshield, popping into a sticky, but stable layer. He releases more bubbles, but they do not float anywhere in particular.

After a few minutes, the Goblin's panel reads that there is a suitable amount of oxygen present. Red Ded takes off his helmet and takes in a sigh of relief. He looks out to his old ship, Alternative Solution. The ship is being fired upon by Undertaker's main laser cannon. A moment later, it disappears in a silent explosion.

Red Ded salutes the now gone ship in a sign of respect for his deceased comrades.

It won't be long now until the orcs leave for their next destination. They will more than likely head off to the same port his crew was heading to with all of their new spoils. That trip will take a few hours at least.

With nothing more to do, Red Ded closes his eyes and takes a long rest.